Guilt

For whatever reason I feel bad for almost anyone. It doesnt matter if I like them, love them, or hate them at some point or another I will feel bad for whatever situation they are in. I'm not sure why, some people say that I'm too nice for my own good . . . but those people dont know what I'm thinking. Oh lordy if people could hear what I was thinking I'm not sure I'd have any friends at all. I just can't help myself when I see someone in need or someone expresses that they need help with something I just have to help. And if I don't I feel bad about it all day. If I don't like the person I'm helping I might just do it grudginly thinking bad things the whole time I do it. Now I dont really know why I feel so bad about things that either have nothing to do with me or have to do with people I just plain dont like.

P.T

Learning to care less about other peoples feelings . . . sometimes mine have to come first.

Irrational People

I don't understand people alot of the time. I think maybe its just part of who I am and something that I can't control. But I wish I could. Its one of those things that you wish was different about yourself. I sometimes wish that I was happier in general, thought better of myself, wasn't so selfish, or was more outgoing. But this is just something that I guess is weird. I find people irrational and a bit annoying more then 80% of the time I'd say. Some things just irk me more then others. Like my boyfriend if or when he doesnt follow a previously set plan. He doesnt see the big issue there but I do. I get my hopes up for one thing to happen and then there is changing it for no particular reason just because he thinks something else may work better. I even sometimes bring up such points before the plans are set and he still says it will be fine only to find out later that it wont. I guess I'm more of a thinker/planner and thats why I get so annoyed by such things. But there are other things like I'll talk to someone about drinking or doing drugs and say that I disapprove over one more then the other they will try to see my side and on occsion agree partially with what I have to say. And then we will get to wherever we are going and there they are doing exactly what I said bothered me right in front of me. Maybe it's silly of me to get upset about something like this but I worry about people. I care about their health and general well being. Even if I dont like someone I feel bad for them and try to help as much as I can, I may be hating it the whole time but I'll still help. Anyways I'm working on myself at the moment, trying to make myself change in a way maybe for the better. I want to be slightly more outgoing, a little bit more care free and as happy as someone can be without anyone elses help.


P.T

People

I never understood how people could get so angry over such little, mostly dumb, things. I mean everyone does it, I do it, and I can almost guarentee whoever reads this does it too. And most of the time we know we are upset for no reason and yet we continue to get upset by such things. I have an example I was at [insert fast food place of your choice] and there was a woman in front of me. The person taking orders asked her what she would like and how she would like it. The woman spat out her anwser in a semi-rushed tone. So the order taker put in what she heard and then asked her another simple question [insert common fast food question] and the woman just looked at her a dumb smile on her face. She said Are you kidding me? The order taker said what do you mean? The woman said well I just told you I want . . . and she was so upset by this that she just stopped away after taking her food. Like the fact that this person didnt take her order properly would surely ruin her whole day. I do it some times where I'll just be with friends or my boyfriend or something and I just get upset over small things. I dont know why and if you asked me why I was upset I'd say about 90% of the time I couldnt tell you. I wish it was easier to be happy.


Do you remember when you were a kid and the smallest thing could make you happy. You could be having the worst day in the world, someone couldve tripped you at school, you failed a test, forgot your homework, got a time out and your fish died but your mom/dad came home with a candy bar/toy/ or just a small tolken of affection when you needed it and your
day was fixed. I wish life was still that simple.

P.T


Being grown up sucks. .

T-shirts

Something weird I noticed while at work recently I thought was funny. I work in a department store and I have to sometimes clean up the tables of folded things. I realized that for some reason no matter what size shirt you want it always appears to be at the bottom of the stack. Because there is never a clean stack of shirts, they are always ruined or lopesided.


P.T

Video Games

IF life was like a video game, I think everyone would be pretty stoked. You could crash your car a million times, have it almost explode on you and just park it in your garage for a second and its as good as new. Cops would give up looking for ciminals within minutes of their crime, even if they saw them comit it. And you could simply type in a code and fifty thousand dollars would appear in your bank account just ready for the taking. Of course the murder rate would be way up and people would never age, or age miraculously over night. Also life may be a smidge confusing with all kinds of flash forwards and backs. But damn would it be fun.

P.T

Unhappy People

Hiya,

I am an unhappy person. I'm not sure why and I can't control it but I think I was born this way. I never feel good or pretty enough for anyone. Now that I think about it I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I felt like I was adequate enough for anyone. I'm not sure where this insecurity comes from, I mean I could say its from people calling me ugly or fat but in the end is it really those things that made me this way. I think not. I think that for whatever reason there are just people in the world that never feel good enough. I could probably count, on one hand, all the times in my life that I've felt pretty or needed. And now I've had this amazing boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years, he makes me happier then I am on my own, he makes me feel pretty most of the time, and he makes me feel wanted. But still deep down in me, no matter how many times I hear "I love you!" or "You are stunning, beautfiul, down to earth, and drop dead gorgeous." (his words not mine), I still just dont fully believe him. I've tried to look at myself and say wow I am pretty or beautiful but I can't see it. Sometimes I can see it in passing, just as I walk by a mirror if I look out of the corner of my eye I say wow there it is but then its gone.

Here's to all the unhappy people or the people like me just trying to be happy and feel good about them selves.

P.T

Intro

Hello,

I am Paige Turner. I thought it might be a kind of neat thing to post on a blog the random thoughts I have. One for every day of the year . . . hopefully. I'm not sure if this is interesting to you but I find randomness to be pretty entertaining. Also I may sometimes review books on this here little blog. Anyways I hope you enjoy this, if anyone follows this that is.

Random thought for 3/16/2011: Have you ever seen The Incredibles, if not its a disney move about super heros. Anyways in that movie at the beginning everyone knows about super heros and generally like them. But Mr. Incredible saves some guy he sees jumping off of a building and hes gets sued and all the supers have to go into hiding. So my thing is in the real world if there were super heros this wouldn't fly becasue sucide is all illegal and such.

P.T